Hes jokes

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Trump's releasing the files.

To catch all the pedophiles.

He didn't know Epstein.

Didn't touch any teens.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.