Hes jokes

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

Why was Macaulay Culkin not bothered by Michael Joseph Jackson? He was left home alone.

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

What is one dream that Michael Joseph Jackson made come to life? He loved to say: "Somebody's watching me."

Where does Michael Joseph Jackson like to eat at?

A Del-he-he.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Trump's releasing the files.

To catch all the pedophiles.

He didn't know Epstein.

Didn't touch any teens.