Hes jokes
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Why is Marcus gay? Because he's gay.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Why did the gay guy say the n word? Cos he's retarded.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman: