Her jokes
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.