Her jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?

The rope would catch her.

Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo mama so fat, Flash couldn't run around her.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."