Her jokes

Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.

"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.

Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.

Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.