Her jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."