Her jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?
she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!