Her jokes

Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?

It scares the shit out of her dog.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.