Her Jokes

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?

Her-she.

Hollow Knight Meme

The image shows five different Hollow Knight characters with labels above them: 'Your Crush' is a character in a pink dress with a weapon, 'Her Mother' is a cloaked insect-like creature, 'Her Brother' is a tall slender character with white armor, 'Her Father' is a character with long white spikes, 'Her Ex' has no visual, and 'You' is a beetle-like character in grey armor.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?

Grounded beef.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.