Her jokes
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.
So she gave me a hug.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her.
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Memes
Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.