Height jokes

"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"

Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course it can, a house can't jump.

62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?

The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.

Why couldn’t the midget talk?

Because someone stepped on him.

I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

Why did the midget not go to bed?

He couldn't reach the bed.

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.