Height jokes
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.