Heat jokes
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
The sun is fire.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They spit HOT FIRE!
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why did the Twin Towers fall?
They collapsed because of the heat.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."