Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
Heat Jokes
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
The sun is fire.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They spit HOT FIRE!
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why did the Twin Towers fall?
They collapsed because of the heat.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."