What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.
Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.
Teacher,the one sucking it?
Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Why did the snowman say Good day to the sun? Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun
Brrr it's fucking cold outside aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh how about the latest phone! Who me? Oh I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
a texan and a alaskan walk in a room the alaskan says "my state is bigger than yours" the texan says "it won't be when it melts"
Be careful around fire plastic melts
Boy : βMy heart MELTS for you.β Girl : βOMG, are you okay?!?!?!β Boy : βYeah, why?β Girl : βBecause if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.β
life is like a box of choclates, they f*cking melt :)
l guess Canada's national igloo is melting because of global warming.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good because my wife's a fat cold bitch.
