Heat jokes
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
The sun is fire.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.