Hearing Jokes

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

How do you know when Helen Keller is home?

Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.

A red dodgeball is on a green grassy field with two blurry figures in the background.

I can hear the whole world booing me.

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.

(She's blind and deaf)

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry, it's just a couple.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.