Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

How do you know when Helen Keller is home?

Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.

(She's blind and deaf)

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.

I can hear the whole world booing me.

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry, it's just a couple.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.

What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?

Honey, I'm home!

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.