When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you gotta hand it to her.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin? Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.
Why does the catholic church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth? so a priest give a anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man or a gay man or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism? It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted? It was quite a shocker.
Dear Hearing People. We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We Can even dance via vibration through music. Do you know the song W lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme"
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
want to hear a joke a bout milk.............. no it's to cheesey.
