Ball

Anonymous

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

Kick

Democravid McNosettehall

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

Animal

Anonymous

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

Name

jimmidy cricket

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”

People

Tallest of boi

Jeff did you hear ther making a film about Jimmy savile it’s a very touchy subject. Yeah I did Gary but did you hear the reviews on the bill Cosby film people said it was so boring it put them to sleep

Face

Kuakington

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.

Toilet

Mini Marshmallow

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

See

pikachuplayz2

Did you hear the joke about helen keller? neither did she. Did you see that one coming? neither did she.

(shes blind and deaf)

Guy

Pistacio

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

Hearing

Anonymous

hey,wanna hear an abortion joke?Nevermind,i can’t deliver it.

Corn

Anonymous

wanna hear a joke about corn

Nevermind it’s too corny

Anti

human

hey wanna hear a joke?

yeah me too.

Soda

Can Crusher

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]

Personal

lame

did you hear the one about the deaf person me: no thats because they caint hear so they dont talk

Cannibal

Bow Tie Guy

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Prostitution

Andrew Butcher

Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you gotta hand it to her.

Ear

My name is Dade

Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids

Game

Anonymous

Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t

Time

Anonymous

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

Guy

Anonymous

You guys wanna hear a joke???

My LOVE LIFE

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