Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

Me: Hey friend!

Friend: Yes?

Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.

Friend: Touch.

Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)

Friend: Grass.

Me: And you get?

Friend: Touch grass.

Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?

A: Hearing Aids.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Did you hear about that Muslim party?

It was a blast!

Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.

Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?

She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.