Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
What do you call Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One time this kid came back from school and said "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said "Good news please.'' and the boy said "I got 100% on my math test today" and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said "Now to the bad news, I LIED"
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? it cuts itself.
i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter
How do you know when Helen Keller is home? Answer; When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes
