Depression

Anonymous

U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

Bone

sans the skeletonw

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Puns

Pitbull

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don’t worry it’s just a couple.

Day

Anonymous

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book…it’s called “Around The House in Eighty Days.”

Puns

Scarab

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

Man

Matt G

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

Puns

VVVVVVita

Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it

Butter

Daniel King

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Puns

Robert G

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl? I’d really like to meter

Sister

Ugly Cat

Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.

Wife

aye

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there’s a small medium at large!

Night

Anonymous

billie: hi

me: you wanna hear a story?

billie: yes sure

me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.

Guy

3-10

Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?

Well he’s all right now!

Animal

Anonymous

Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

Guy

Unfunny Boi

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

No?

They both got six months.

Personal

PegasusNotFound

Hey wanna hear a construction joke? Other person: Yes Sorry, I’m still working on it! 😅

Puns

Anonymous

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

Puns

Anonymous

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom. The “p” is silent.

Die

What's My Name?

Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first? Jack: Bad News first Mother: I’m dying! Jack: Mother, I said bad news first. Mother: cries Jack was never seen again.

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