One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Wanna hear a funny joke?
John's life.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
