I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, βDoes anyone know CPR?!β I yelled, βI know the entire alphabet!β, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?
Joke,
Joke,
Jooooooooooooooke.
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?.....................it hurt
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops I dropped my lollipop.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child Student: sorry to hear Teacher:is anyone missing today Student: Your parents
When a deaf person is on trial is it really considered a hearing
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired from his job because he couldnβt learn the route.
What do visiting goatman's bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common? You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
If theres a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
What happens when you hear a Mary Brittain beating a Thomas You cook spaghetti with his blood
Did you hear about the fish and chips fish got battered chips got a salted
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish? He was rotten to the albacore.
"I hear you asking 'What's your favorite instrument?' The TromBone.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work
