Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have a really good joke.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
