Heard Jokes

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

I once heard my dad shout I'm going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot

This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK

2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

My wife left me for an Indian guy. -- I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)