I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
When i was in middle school i was on my bus and people were doin hairline jokes and i heard this guy say "Your hairline goes back to..... uhhhhhh..... 2042?
Secretly, Iโm a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, โIโve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!โ
My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
Have you heard about the movie constipation?
No,Because It never came out...
Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there
I broke up with my RBLX gf and I heard my uncle crying in the other room
Man 1: Hey I heard you survived a school shooting, what was it like? Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere, I was only able to get a few of them.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? Itโs because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? ๐ The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face ๐คง
have you heard of imagine dragons (the band), imagine dragging these nuts across your face
Lol these jokes have been heard millions of times
My mom and I went to a bank. hard to say i never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks"
LOL
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? Itโs when the Devil tells the priest to exit the childโs body.
