Head Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed

Sing raindrops keep falling on my head

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the the dash.

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

What does JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common? “They both blow heads”.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.

The bartender shakes his head, and says.

"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...

I get so many thing stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

So I was at a funeral the other day and it was a school shooting mass funeral, and the lady beside me asked me, “ what do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “ How dare you you have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “well they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

I know a good airplane joke but it would probably go over your heads. The twin towers: no it won't.

Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."