
Head jokes
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
We gotta work ahead, people!
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Your head looks like a joke.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
