Head jokes
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Bro, your head is so big that it shines so bright, it turns into a lightbulb.
What did the no head man say?
"Haha!"
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
Take a step back... just like your hairline did.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.