Head

Head jokes

People

    • Why don't headless people have a head in class?

    Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD

    Bunk Bed

    • You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

    Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

    You: Uhhhhhhh

    Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

    You: Thank God.

    Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

    You: *faints*

  • 0

    • Giraffe

    • A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

    After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

    The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

    The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

  • 1
    • Head memes

    Death

    • What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?

    Cot death.

  • 0

    • Inmate

    • The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

    A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

    Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

    Friend

    • My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

    Me: No.

    Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

  • 3

    • People

    • The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

    Year

    • 🎆 New Year's Eve

    Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

    Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

    Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

  • 1

    • Name

    • Mommy, why is my name Brick???

    Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

    Mommy, why is my name Rose???

    Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

    Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

    Little Johnny

    • Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"

  • 0

    • Farmer

    • This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.

    The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."

    The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.

    One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”

  • 0