Head Jokes

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

What do you call a blonde?

A piss-head.

What do you call a bullet head?

JFK.

A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!

The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

russia

The image shows two panels. The top panel has text that says "Putin: civil war in Ukraine. Meanwhile, reality:". The bottom panel is a still from the movie Home Alone. It shows a boy aiming a rifle at a small door. Above the boy the text says "Ukraine". The head of a man is looking through the hole in the door. Above the man the text says "Russia".

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?

A bullet.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Why do orphans live on the street?

They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"