Head jokes

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

What has a head and tail but no legs?

A penny.

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head!

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.

What do you call a blonde?

A piss-head.

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

What do you call a bullet head?

JFK.

Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?

A. An ambulance.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!

The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Why do orphans live on the street?

They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.