Head jokes

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

What has a head and tail but no legs?

A penny.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head!

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

What do you call a blonde?

A piss-head.

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

What do you call a bullet head?

JFK.

Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?

A. An ambulance.

A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!

The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

Why do orphans live on the street?

They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.

What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?

A bullet.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.