What goes hahaha bonk A man laughing his head off
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
so, no head?
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
I saw a dad shaved his daughters head because she made fun of a woman with cancer. Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant women🤭
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
what do you call a man with no body and do nose?
No Body Knows No body nose
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
friend: Name one gay person off the top of you're head Me: Me
when you go to a baseball game and they say heads up and put your head up and the ball hits you in the head.
there was a animal on my porch then i shot in the head it was strange that it had coffee in its hand, i flipped it over and it was an animal but it looked a lot like my kid.
Why Couldn't The Astronaut Put The Helmet On His Head?
Because He Didn't Have Enough Space
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?" "Six pounds." "And shaving?" "Three pounds." "Good, then shave my head."
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter
You can pop there head off
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they outside my head
A father is talking to his three kids Kid 1: why is my name rose Dad:Because when you were a kid a rose fell on your head Kid 2: why is my name lily Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh Dad:oh hey Brick
there's three kids: little drop, little feather, and little brick. Little feather goes "mommy why do u call me l'feather"? She answers "cuz a little feather fell over your head when u were born". L'drop asks to his mom "mommy why do u call be l'drop"? She answers "cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born". L'brick goes " aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn"
