Head jokes

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?

They're both Headless.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!

My mom told me to be positive...

I was heading to an HIV test.

When your plane heads for New York...

Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Your head looks like a joke.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

Hi, I...

Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?

Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!