Have jokes
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!