Have jokes
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.