Have jokes
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.