Have jokes
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.