Have jokes
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.