Have jokes

Trump

51 views ·

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

Hospital

5 views ·

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Hamster

18 views ·

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Post

8 views ·

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

Funeral

12 views ·

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Twilight

20 views ·

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Predator

16 views ·

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

Self Harm

35 views ·

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

Shopping List

11 views ·

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

Polar Bear

12 views ·

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”