Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to the how we talk to other guys like when they say can I borrow a pencil you say you can borrow this hard wood dick
My Tower is hard but after 6 minutes it fell over.
What did eve say to Adam That is rock hard
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie die hard) dies of a viagra overdose would that mean he truly dies hard
Why do the brakes keep squeal.
Because the driver hit it to hard.
This is not a joke nor did I come up with it. If somebody calls you ugly just hug them and say life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment
How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!
Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.
Some guy come to me and said I'm your dad friend.. he ask me to pick you up.. *Laughing freaking hard* and told him you dig the grave?
Why is a brick always hard because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An Orphan
why is life like penises
woman make it hard
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year
Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard A. Cause they want the BONEus
“Don’t sneeze”
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends I would always tell them “Don’t sneeze” and when I did they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed we laughed even harder.
Also,
“It dangles and swung” Language art quizzes are the best
She blew on it and it went hard
Ya know life as a pufferfish is tuff. They get startled they the get hard.
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.
The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
I can't stand up when I laugh hard - neither can thay
