Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Harding Jokes
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
