Harding jokes

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

What's long, hard, and bloody?

The Boston Marathon.

Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."

"Son, stay out of the drawer."

What is long, hard, and has cum in it?

A cucumber.

It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."

Gym Teacher: "That's alright."

Other Kid: "Hush!"

Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.

What's SoDN?

Suck on deez nuts.

A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.

"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.

"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.

"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."

"And then?" asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"

"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

WATERSHARKY DISS TRACK - by Firesharky

You smell like you farted FARTED harded HARDED A B Honor Roll. All Fs, you r*tarded. OHHHH!

Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.

My dick hard.

Who make hard candy for the kids?

Solve.