Where you born on the high way that's where most accidents happen
What happens when a Cow Farm gets destroyed, then built up again? It'll be udder renovation!
Q: What happens when emo's make out?
A: They don't they just hang out
what happens if you put your hand in glue,your hand will stay there forever im joking hahaha
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
what would happen if a dam broke when you are on it? You would be dam unlucky
Why is black mystery not an airhead flavor? Because we already know what happened to them *shot fires*
Me: Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!
Depression: Lie in bed
to men walk into a bar the 1st says hey hows it going the 2 one says great but then the 3rd man says hello where did my wife go i swear she as just here what happened to the 3rd guys wife
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
Yo what quacking lacking?looking for a ducking good time?I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill.what happens flied upside down?it quacks up.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage?, They got sued for littering
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
One day little Jonny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there so he went in to use it and asked his mom what is that between your legs. His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened but with his dad. He asked his dad what is that between his legs. He said my snake. The same thing happened one more time except with his grandmother. Little Jonny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said my headlights. One night little Jonny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said grandmaw grand maw turn on your head lights daddy snake is trying to get into mommy's bush.
Dont yall just hate when something FUNNY to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you dont look like a villian ?
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...
