Hang jokes
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
What hangs low?
Balls.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!