Hang jokes
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.