Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
