Hang jokes

Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.

Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

911, what's your emergency?

Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

Well, it's not a living room anymore.

Me: Hangs up.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.

Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.