Hang jokes
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.
Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.