Hang jokes
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."