Hang jokes
Wanna come hang out with me?
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.
All people are invited!
We have a lot! Enjoy!
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.