Hang jokes
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Wanna come hang out with me?
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.
All people are invited!
We have a lot! Enjoy!
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.