Hair jokes
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! ๐
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and seeโs her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."