Habit jokes
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
He: "Do you smoke after sex?" She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.