Habit Jokes

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?

They take a "power puff."

Habit.

I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

Ni tshike mbangi bcz ani zaha toilet, nikarhi Ni hlometela out side loko tiniba. Ni hlometela ndzeni ka poto.