HA jokes
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
This person has Down syndrome.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.