Gun

Gun jokes

Suicide

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Bank Robber

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

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  • Taliban

    Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

    School Shooter

    When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

    School Shooter

    Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

    Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

    Classroom: *visible panic*

    Suicide

    My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

    My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

    Shooting Range

    I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

    Name

    My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

    School Shooter

    I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

    Infidelity

    A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."

    Suicide

    What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

    They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

    School Shooter

    If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"