Gun jokes
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
your mom
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"