Gun jokes

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

your mom

Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?

What are the best shooting ranges in America?

Schools.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.