Gun jokes
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
I like you, you like me.
Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
I’m not racist. I just have black guns.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.
Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.