Gun jokes
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Poop fell off the earth.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.