Guess

Guess jokes

Desk

  • My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

    Circle

  • You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

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  • Fool

  • The date is April 1st.

    Somebody asks you what you are doing.

    “I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

    Bro

  • My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

    Why? Why would you do that?

    Pen

  • Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.

    Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.

    Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.

    Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.

    Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.

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  • Suicide

  • Me and a person downtown.

    Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

    Me: I guess so.

    Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

    Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

    Person: Why'd you stop?

    Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

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  • Exit

  • I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

    Bone

  • Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.

    Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.

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  • Friend

  • My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

    So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

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  • Food

  • "One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

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  • Pterodactyl

  • Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?

    Random person: I don't know.

    No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!

    Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.

    People

  • 9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

    2 people bought plants.

    3 people bought shovels.

    1 person yelled.

    3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

    1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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