I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex, guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why KRIS and COMMON SENSE haven’t met yet
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK"
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Brrr it's fucking cold outside aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh how about the latest phone! Who me? Oh I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Yes, sir.
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.
Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
