Guess jokes

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”