Guess jokes

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Wordle be like (pt3)

Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.

STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛

FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚

MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚

YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚

Wordle be like (Part 2):

COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚

CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚

CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.