My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
